Driving through the eastern Ugandan districts of Mbale, Budaka, Pallisa, Namutumba, etc, this week, one encountered hordes of yellow-draped campaign convoys complete with public address systems and paraphernalia.
Between Mbale town and Iganga, in just a few hours, you could easily see at least four such convoys that include many government vehicles mostly bearing registration letter 'C', which is for the presidency. There were also army trucks carrying soldiers to boot.
One finds that many of these convoys are without the incumbent presidential candidate, General Yoweri Museveni, meaning they are advance teams mobilizing and ferrying locals to the rallies our great ruler is scheduled to address. One can only imagine the extent of waste, in public resources, that go into Museveni's rather gratuitous campaigns.
The campaigns are done aggressively and opulently. They entail ad nauseam platitudes like "I and the NRM brought peace and security to Uganda".
On the campaign trail, the Ssabalwanyi takes time to explain to Ugandans, using the most paternalistic language that easily beats what the colonists employed, the achievements of his government for which he alone takes credit; but also the failings, for which technocrats and opposition politicians must take blame.
Campaign time is also to make snide remarks about opposition MPs and take a swipe at RDCs for failure to supervise government programmes. But should Museveni be going around the country canvassing votes, anyway? It is difficult to see the rationale. Here is why.
He is on record for saying that Ugandans are not mad as to vote for his opponents who, at any rate, are such an unserious lot. It has also been stated by Museveni functionaries that he hunted his animal and cannot be expected to leave power via a mere piece of paper - the ballot. What's more, everybody else aspiring to lead the country is perforce a liar and only Museveni knows what the country needs and where it wants to go.
This exaggerated self-glorification and somewhat illusory messianic attitude clearly contradicts the desperate combing of the country in search of votes, including the use of unsolicited robocalls. The latter is done of course with the dubious collusion of telecom companies and in utter violation of the right not to receive unsolicited messages, moreover of such a political nature.
Museveni's attitude is such that we cannot have a meaningful contest for the nation's topmost job where the outcome would be generally acceptable to all players, even though some may feel dissatisfied. The only outcome must be that which certifies his continued grip on power. Nothing else. This, to my understanding, was the gist of Professor Oloka-Onyango's rather misconstrued comments that appeared in the Sunday Monitor, December 13.
Why then does our self-assured 'messiah' waste his time going around the country looking for votes when, in the final analysis, the outcome must necessarily go his way? Authoritarian rulers rule with a measure of insecurity and uncertainty. They tend to be unsure about the mood of the people and the level of their popularity.
Campaign time, therefore, offers a window to be gratified with the feeling of love from the people - in the sense of the vintage colonial chief. The need to seek out the people and receive their expression of affection is partly fueled by an army of schemers and hangers-on looking to cash in from the election campaign booty.
The schemers and political merchants work around to raise rented crowds for the ssabagabe using as small a fraction of availed funds as possible so they can make off with as much as they can hold onto. In so doing, they engage in duplicity and outright fraud, sometimes working hard to outdo one another and occupy the front row of the ruler's singing choir.
Apparently, as one very senior government official told me last weekend, our ruler has become deeply hostage to these strings of parasitic merchants who employ both blackmail and deception to extort money and other material returns from the master.
With streams of intelligence and counter-intelligence, quite a bit of it cooked up and embellished, the ruler is conflicted between his self-assured messianic place among the people he rules and the possibility that he could be pushed out of power.
Thus, he acquiesces campaigning to win votes at the same time that he ridicules the very principles of free political contest and tells all and sundry that it must be him to be announced winner of the February 18 polls.
To you, dear reader, I must confess: writing about Ugandan politics, it is increasingly inevitable to end up sounding facetious. Yet there is a profound tragedy that our country faces, wrought by the regressive politics of machination and personal rule at the behest of General Museveni. Sadly, quite many of our compatriots remain either indifferent or ignorant about the scope of the tragedy that continues to stare at us.
Our politics are getting dangerously broken, with grave ramifications for all other realms of our country. The orgies of campaign violence as we saw in Ntungamo at the weekend just add insult to injury in a country in urgent need of fresh leadership and a new agenda for transformation.